Monday, April 4, 2011

the waiting

Spring. I've had my hair dyed to include several artful orangy-red streaks through my bangs and at the back of my neck. I'm ready.

The week before last, the week my son had Spring Break, the week of the Supermoon...which I didn't see due to overcast skies, March in Minnesota always so unreliable... that week, I couldn't get my brain to stay on track. I was foggy, spacey, in a state of abstraction much like the hormonal empty-headedness I experienced in my first few months of pregnancy. Work barely got done, between this and my altered schedule due to childcare. Plus we all ticked over into Daylight Savings time, and got terrible sleep for a week as the result. A useless, kerflummoxed sort of week.
This was followed by the week of Chaos and Conflict, Madness and Martinis. With a little PMS thrown in for good measure. I struggled with my spouse all week. I kept a good and respected friend waiting for me at lunch for nearly an hour before I realized I was standing her up (something I NEVER do to people.) At work I tried to prep for two large projects/events while fielding questions and concerns about a third (big demolition effort inside the building last week, prepping for renovations this summer.) I signed off on two new tenants, delivered a rent increase and new lease to a third, ran out of food at the food shelf and had to close the doors randomly between donations. I was blessed and blasted last week. Nearly cried a number of times, and finally broke down at the end.

But I dyed my hair orange in defiance. I tried to counsel and support a good friend who is really suffering right now. I drank too much, and tried to behave in a calm, grateful manner at least some of the time. I worked in a couple bike rides. I cornered an accordion player at the grand opening of a local library and convinced him to play at a food shelf fundraiser that same afternoon. I read to my son a goodly amount. I bought a bunch of new underthings. I drew in my present sketchbook, in great detail, in homage to Japan and its tsunami survivors and those who perished.

Spring will come. I'm ready. 

1 comment:

Clarence said...

Rosie Grier used to sing:

It's alright to cry
Cryin' takes the sad out of ya
It's alright to cry
It might make you feel better

I forget to do this sometimes.