laptop confessional

There have been two rapes in my neighborhood in the past couple of months. Two different suspects, the second of whom is still at large. The first rape was a midnight, woman walking alone scenario, but it was a violent rape; prepetrated by a local opportunist. The rape from a few days ago was a stalking rape, apparently preplanned by someone who had the opportunity to observe the victim, a man who concealed his identity. What's that mean? Local again.

Into my mind comes a vision, of a guy in a beat-up white two-door, back in the spring. He drove past my bus stop, turning off of my residential cross-street into the main road as he passed, and asked as he slowed down if I wanted a ride. He looked at me like someone who knew me. I said no, automatically; but was sufficiently creeped out by the guy. He reminded me of a man who used to sit at the park and watch us -- moms and kids playing. Riding his bicycle around and around the park, stopping repeatedly to sit at a bench and stare, just stare. I couldn't be certain these two men were one and the same, but there was a resemblance. Once, I called my husband on my cell phone and asked him to come pick us up, at the park -- I was that nervous, though the guy never attempted to speak to us. He jumped on his bike and rode off when my husband appeared. A white guy, with short sandy colored hair, glasses; about six foot to six foot two. Medium build, completely typical fellow. At all hours of the day he could be seen -- but that was a couple of years ago, and I haven't noticed him since. The description of the second rapist, as general as it is, brings him to mind.

Too many of these guys around. And what amulet, what prayer, wards them off? Vampires, people who want power, who want to suck the life out of you via their hate and their fear - I think it's only lust in the most superficial sense. Vampires, people who failed at life and have time on their hands in some cases -- the guy in the park probably has a previous conviction. Felonies make it hard to get a job. I suppose the cops look to the registered offender files at times like these, show some photos to the victim -- but a smart guy knows how to fall off the map. Or maybe he's been convicted of something else; just never a rape. Breaking and entering, as in this case -- the second rapist knew how to enter a sealed, vacant apartment to get to someone living adjascent. A smart guy. Someone who walks his dog or rides his bike a lot.

A guy with time on his hands.