Monday, October 12, 2009

Today I had the day off. First non-church day in perhaps two weeks or more, I lose track. I also start to lose perspective, my mind, random it's good. I sat for two hours on the piano bench and drew a colored pencil rendition of the snow and the green grass side by side on the neighbor's lawn, the green tents under the trees and the leaves on the wet pavement. Felt nice. We enjoyed the quiet of all that insulating, tender snowfall on our trip to school this morning. The kid was in a great mood, the wind had not yet turned cold. He's not worried about Halloween, or Thanksgiving. Now that he has seen the snow again, he wants boots and sleds. And even though it's melting now (and should, what insanity), it was kind of pretty. I had some silence today. I miss it terribly.

I hate having the furnace on so early in the year. But we've all had colds and flus for more than a month, we're just starting to clear up now, and it's been damned cold outside. What can you do.
The ceiling just made a loud noise -- crack! -- in response to this weird weather. The house has a cough.

I've been acting like an asshole since last Thursday, off and on -- careening into PMS and a whole lot of nonsense on my mind, stressing out over Sunday's sermon (which went fine), trying to find normal. Trying not to take everything personally, which has been almost impossible. I hope no one disowns me before I work through this little bout of assholery.

I'm out of wine too...Oh well. I hope tomorrow is a good day. Today certainly wasn't bad. Even shopping for turtlenecks for the kid was kind of fun. Even eating porkchops for supper seemed alright (I had chicken AND steak at lunch time today, long story, so I'm overlimit on my daily dead animal ration.) I'll bet there's a moon up there somewhere...

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