Saturday, November 21, 2009

resisting the urge

To lay my thoughts for the night on anyone's doorstep. Despite a fierce urge to reach out and connect with anyone, though apparently everyone is out on the town for the night. Or watching TV. Doing Saturday night stuff. Tomorrow will be all about church, laundry, housekeeping. A birthday party. Dreading the dentist appointment with my kid on Monday. Etc. Tonight I'm drinking, I'm winding up my creativity for the evening, and wishing I had something going on -- wishing I had someone to talk to. But I'm not going to start emailing people, not when today has been super-slow that way -- I'm not going to be the pathetic Jen in the middle of the night for anyone in particular. I'm going to hang out and get drunk for another hour or so, and maybe finalize my plans for Sunday School tomorrow morning (incongruous, yes). And see if anyone surfaces to bid me goodnight. Sitting in the dark, illuminated only by the light of the Laptop Confessional...

...thinking about skipping over to True Companion to write about the piece I started in on again this evening. Two birds on a wire, facing each other...suspended over an expanse of black water, moonlit birds, out of their nests when they should be hiding away...

I should go read the paper or something. Sheesh. Get a life. Get out of myself.

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