Sunday, January 23, 2011

the dark watches of the night

Awake at 3am, always a problem... up since 1:30 after spotting rest between 9pm and Midnight. Listening to my son's cold worsening...more head congestion, and now, a fever. I can hear him getting a fever, I know the character of his breathing and how it changes. I watch as the thermometer goes from under 100 to 102 in just an hour... listen to him snore. This has progressed from Thursday's sudden cough, two days, three... school holiday tomorrow, which is good and also not good, given the normal household routine on Mondays. Tomorrow being Monday...having slipped into Sunday a few hours ago... "the dark watches of the night" as Tolkein said. "Who knows what you have whispered to the walls of your prison, in the dark watches of the night?" Or something like that. Laptop knows... who else reads? I'm always curious, not about the folks who leave comments but the ones who don't. Yet I've stopped caring about my Google stats.

Tripping over toys, picking my way through the carefully arranged detritus of pretend play, refilling the humidifier, feeling his forehead as though that would resolve anything... as he gets older I suppose this becomes more routine, funny how I would choose even the slightest cold or headache as my own if I thought it would spare him discomfort. The mothers pray, give it to me! I'll take it Lord. Ease his suffering. Of course, it's just a cold. 

Blogging is not Facebook. I've stuck with FB where other friends have not, realizing there's some comfort in the handful of responses I always see linked to my status updates. Advice, reassurance, support, humor. And the connection to friends who have trouble working coffee into busy professional, school, childcare schedules. Better than the phone, if less meaningful. Of course, there again I find myself wondering who has read and not commented -- I know people who are mindful of their professional associations and never post status lines, seldom posting on walls, doubtless communicating through "likes" and private messages. Makes sense if you have hundreds and hundreds of friends... too. Do blogging and Facebook negatively augment my introversion? I imagine so. And yet... here we are my friends. "You" and I.

How ya doin?

1 comment:

scrivener said...

I still read all of it. But not at 3 am! Well sometimes at 3 am.

Nobody ever comments on anything. Has pretty much been my experience.