Wednesday, February 2, 2011

still adjusting

Every day requires a little adjustment. The temperature is especially bitter today. My period is a week early. It's my turn to pick up the boy from school. I have a meeting tonight. I need to start the financials for January. I need to get a grip on my usefulness in my new Board position. Adjust, adjust. I've recently doubled down on my meds and that's another kind of adjustment. Every day brings new light, new issues, new feelings.

Like many mornings, I arrive at the office and address the first few imperatives; then I pause, while my still-sleepy brain tries to catch up. What's important today? The tyranny of the urgent has us in its grip so often that a day without a pressing deadline is like a day without purpose. The brain moves first too fast, then too slow. I chaffe at the boundaries of the office proper. I want to be outside, be where the action is. I want to understand what's important about what I do here, even though I really should adjust to accept the fact that some days it's just a JOB. Today might be one of those days.

Today will undoubtedly be a long one, and I should take myself out to lunch.

Winter is bright and hard today, with an edge.

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