laptop confessional

The moon is very bright, and a line of some sort blew over the city as night fell, leaving the air cooler and dryer - at least for the time being. One cat is in, the other out, and if I didn't know how much it would disturb the natural order of things I'd be tempted to go out for a walk. Clouds make patterns against the sky, backlit by moonlight. If I left the house I'm sure my son would awake, and in turn wake up my husband. Left to only imagine a little escape from mind-numbing wakefulness, and sleep that won't come.

The wind comes and goes...occasionally sending delicious little shivers down my spine as it breathes through my window.

I met an old high school friend for lunch this week. Yet another result of facebook interactions -- maybe the fourth or fifth social contact of this type. But this meeting was a little more unusual in that I've had no social contact whatsoever with "R" for 20-plus years. I haven't attended reunions -- I'm not the type to initiate a conversation with someone who has been out of my life that long. And as much as I do have friendships which span that time, I also make few exceptions for the ones that have lapsed naturally. I don't try to dig people up. What's done is done. I think that's pretty normal. Nevertheless I've been contacted by a really surprising number of people from long ago, thanks to facebook, and I suppose it's time to get the hang of it.

The lunch was an interesting experiment. And a little disconcerting, stepping through the wormhole into a frame of reference that's largely faded, trying to reconstruct twenty years of living and changing, and not even talking about the real shared memories (which is hard for me to explain in retrospect --but we didn't, not at all.) There's probably a little mid-life going on there. Hard to say what I'm comfortable with in this case.

It's after 1am now. I hear a shout somewhere -- kids out late. I hear a loud noise of leaves being rustled in the yard and suspect raccoon.

With the future so very uncertain in some respects right now, it's interesting to be so aware of the past. Last year a friend at work and I were complaining about anomie. We had no idea. It's beyond any memory of normal at this point.

Ah well, time to finish rambling and go post elsewhere for a while. Or not, depending on sleep. And what dreams may come.