Sunday, February 8, 2009

in the wee small hours

Well, Facebook certainly is chewing up time I could be spending more productively elsewhere. Like here, for instance. Two weeks of Facebook and suddenly all I'm good for is counting the number of Friends my Friends have, and learning new Apps. Ugh. Hanging around to see who's online. On the flip side, I have managed to connect with 1) an old pal from junior high/high school; 2) an ex boyfriend from the early nineties; and 3) a girl friend from my years in Athens GA. And that's all harmless fun, creating continuity with the past and reminding me of the world outside my small circle of contemporaries. Old pal turned out to be queer and is living a happily productive life including a long-term relationship; ex-boyfriend is married and STILL working for IBM, has two daughters; gal pal is still in GA teaching art and raising her kids.

But it doesn't replace the feeling of creative satisfaction I get from writing. And since my attempts to go to sleep have been met with snoring (husband) and an unsatisfactory trip to the couch with my pillows and blankets (where I commenced to muse on the mortality of parents and the nature of the ideal support system during life's tragedies) -- here am I.

It's been a rough week. A key question about the future of my job has been resolved, and just before that happened my back went out and stayed gone for the week. Many pain pills later, I'm wondering how much of that was internalized stress over church work (notwithstanding the nights not sleeping in my own bed due to the aforementioned snoring), and I'm resolved to take a couple days off to lighten up. Taking myself way too seriously. I've missed calls from Alan and from Brady, and while Facebook is good for connecting with my night owl friends it doesn't replace old fashioned beers and conversations.

I will start a new sewing project this week. I will dig up my new year's resolutions (unexamined since I first wrote them down) and reflect on where they're coming from. Catch up on a little housework, and try to focus on life outside of church. A balance worth maintaining since two of my good friends have just joined the Council.

I've given myself a year to decide if this is the work I want to be doing for the rest of my life; and if not, what's next.

My son had his pre-K screening today, a lengthy and mostly boring procedure that nevertheless turned up some interesting thoughts about his future educational directives. The testers confirmed that the kid is crazy smart, really tall for his age and emotionally level with his peers. He'll need something to do at school while the other kids are learning to read, since he is already a couple grade levels above average. But he needs time to learn how to be a team player, how to get along in a world that isn't impressed with mere intelligence. (My assessment, that.)

Meanwhile, my husband and I need to find a new approach to some old issues. More on that another time.

And I need to figure out what's really going on with Obama's bailout bill. Another busy week ahead, sounds like... ...

A lyric of Peter Gabriel's just popped into my head; And I love to be loved, Oh, I love to be loved.

1 comment:

scrivener said...

The secret of Facebook is to ignore everything. Apps, gifts, pokes, Tom Waits' Magic Suitcase. First I felt bad about ignoring apparent overtures from friends and family, then I realized that everybody was just blasting their lists with this junk, nobody tracked or cared if you noticed or responded.