Wednesday, May 13, 2009


I have argued with my mother, canceled my father's anniversary "yahrzeit" memorial, complained too loudly about too many things at work, timed my complaints badly, argued with my husband, stayed up night after night with my sick child, cried in my beer over foolish dreams, celebrated with a friend in honor of her tireless volunteer work, tried to make jokes so that people I love will smile, gotten behind on thank-yous and return emails to friends, felt sorry for myself, refused to accept my failures, sent too many text messages, finished reading a novel, flirted incompetently, canceled meetings, decided to worship elsewhere for a little while, left groups, filed a long-overdue piece of paper, wished I had some power, upset my son, eaten a whopper junior with cheese (uh-oh), felt sorry for myself some more, felt deeply ashamed of my PMS outbursts, apologized over and over, felt miserably unattractive and unloved, berated myself soundly for being a selfish dope, prayed, prayed some more, neglected some important things, and grown heartily sick of my empty old self...all in the space of the past seven days.

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